Why am i so pathetic? Why is it that hard to let go? I think i pushed him toooo much and pressured him a bit too much that he got fed up talking to me.
FACT: I dont have him anymore and that makes me scared and more overreactive

I guess thats the same with everyone else. They act differently when they are in a relationship and when they arent.

I know since primary till high school everyone has been teasing about my eyes and hence why i took an operation in year 9 again. Yet everyone makes fun of it again. I really am afraid of getting another one. In year 9 i was afraid that i would never wake up again and likewise now. The fact that people still make fun of my eyes makes me want to take another operation. Im scared that the operation mite fail or something happens to me in the end. After the operation stuff appeared different and i had patches on my eye. I only did this because not only did doctor said to do it, but because everyone looks weirdly at me. I want to look normal and hence i took this operation. And now do i really have to take another one to stop all this?

I was born this way. Cant people just accept the way i appear and not make fun of it? I know that they are joking but it hurts.

And should i wait? i dont know anymore. im confused. What if the outcome is not what i wanted, does that mean i wasted my time? *sigh what is right? What is wrong? What should i do? 

lately life has been really hard to handle.

Well enough said.