Keep counting xD

Its been 2 weeks and 1 day :) better than i expected :L
<3

But 4 more days till FREEDOM again :(
Tomorrow i have chem test and IM SO NOT READY :V why am i so proud? AH wells. JUST HOPE I OWN THIS, which is very unlikely of me :)

Crazy Day

I didnt want to post what was wrong with me at tumblr because i dont want my friends to know what ive been up to. No one or hardly anyone comes on here, so i decided to post here.

Anyways enough jibbering. Well, i have been having a bad day today. My parent and sister was arguing. I had family problems. Anyways my friend today was telling me off, well not exactly telling me off, but more like giving me a lesson. I have kind of betrayed him and now i feel so bad. I started crying so much because from what he had said, although he wants to be friends, we wont be that close friends anymore. I guess he wont forgive me anymore. I hate myself. I don't know why im like this? Today i started looking at tumblr for emo posts such as suicidal, hatred and etc. Well i think i made my friends worry a bit too much, so i decided to stop posting about it. I dont want anyone to know the emo me. I dont want them to see this side of me. So i decided to stop. Hopefully no one sees this blog as well. Well, im happy i have friends, and family to support me. I WOULD NEVER THINK OF SUICIDE no matter how depressed i get, no matter how emo i get and no matter what posts i put up. I feel like that, but i wouldnt do it. Suicidal are for really weak peoples. I am a strong person. I can face my problems, but sometimes i know im a weak one, and i always want my bf and fwends to be beside me.

Anyways thanx everyone for helping me. I dont want to disappoint you guys. Thankyou.

LOTS OF LOVE,
Vivo

Another day spent with BF

Ngaww today im glad i went to Cabramatta library to see him. LOLS. We couldnt study at all. Anyways, IM SOO HAPPY, I DID A 4UNIT MATHS QUESTION :p. He couldnt do it too. :p hhehe im proud of myself. :P
Anyways we walked around outside and ate. He was a pig. He ate SO MUCH. AHHASH but its cute to watch him eat. Its good he doesnt starve himself. He is mature. AHASH. Anyways hehe i brought bankep and started feeding him a lot. He ate so much today and i started poking his belly. hehehe. When we walked towards the station since i had to go home, i started poking it more. It was soo fun, then he grabbed my hand, and locked it with his. Hehehe. We were holding hands. I tried to let go, but he wouldnt. It felt so tight. I loved it. His HANDS WERE SOOOOOOOOOO SOFT. I WANNA TOUCH THEM. ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO SOFT. OMG. Anyways, we then walked to sit down since i was tired. We sat and we started talking and eating the rest of the ban kep. He then started to bully me, and almost pushed me off but managed to hold on to me. He hugged me. He also heehe put his arm across my shoulder. I tried to make an excuse to lean my head across and it felt nice. :)

Anyways enough talkign about the day, i need to get a move on and study.

Why can't people try to understand?

I don't know what's wrong wtih people these days. I really hate this. No one understands how im trying hard for my exams and by that, it means not going out. In the holidays i tried to turn down peoples to study, but someone keeps making me say yes, but in fact i really cant, nor do i want to go. I tried saying no but then they keep saying dog etc, making me go. In the end i say maybe. But then again, they should try to understand that im trying to study and they think that one day without studying wouldnt affect, but to me it does. One day without studying makes me forget the work, waste time and get lectured by parents for not using my time properly and really i want to do well in my exams no matter what. It doesnt seem like im trying, but i am. I do feel like it is my fault for like not going with them, but i thought they could have hanged out with the bday girl who they know of. They don't need me. I just want to study. Is that bad to ask for? Do i have to ask permission to study? I said i would hang out with them perhaps at the gates. I have no other choice, its either go hang out or study. But of course everyone would rather study. I wanted to study. They didnt let me, complained to me and even in the holidays didnt really let me study.

Awesome day at cabra yesterday

Too busy doing maths I didnt post how i had a wonderful day with my bf at cabra library =D

AHAHAS anyways, well i was kinda fed up having to wait for him for like maybe 3 hours. Well i finished school at like 12 something and got to Cabra at like 1 something. Well my friend and I just walked around, eating. NOM NOM. HEHEHEHE
Anyways, she had to leave at 330 and for like an hour i wondered around waiting for him since he was late >> AHHAS ANYWAYS i forgave him because he made my day eventually :)

hmmmm what else... hehehe we had fun in the library :) However he distracted me. I realised i couldn't study with him there. I tried asking for help. He helped me with one and SHOWED me this trick on the calculator. It was so awesome =D Anyways because his mum was gonna come, i decided to leave. He shoved THE WHOLE BAN KEP INTO HIS MOUTH. Such a pig >> FATTY :) Anyways he hugged me from behind. Heheheheh i liked it :) It felt secure, safe and warm. :) i didnt want him to stop hugging me. When the train came, I JUST DIDNT WANT TO LET GO. HES SOO AWESOME :)shhh he doesnt know that. :) HE MADE MY DAY :) LOVE HIM <3

My awesome BF =D

Ahhahas ngaww, i like how he tries to cheer me up. I love him :)
He's was being SOOOO nice :L

The more he does that, the more i would fall for him. I think of him 24 hours. I dream about him. I miss him so much! i miss his hugs :( His hugs makes me feel safe, secure and warm. UGHH. IM MISSING HIM SO MUCH. :L

FAIL WHALE

Today was such a fail :( I had teh whole day to spend to study for Biology. I woke up early for tutor. I came home from tutor at 12 ish. Then i went shopping. Instead I could have studied. Then i went straight to cousins house to celebrate his bday. Another time wasted. Then went home at 640 ish. I studied and msn-ed. Then when he came home at like 9, i got distracted and studied wc-ing for like 2 hours.

So basically I studied for like only 3 hours ish. Omg. This is GAY. OMG. Such a fail today. Im meant to be studying. Then tomorrow i have to study for english and maths. Omg. I dont have time to study biology. I'm so going to fail it :(

WANG ZI :)

OMG i just realised, 1404 was WANG ZI BDAY!! :)

кнιεм says (12:01 PM):
*OMG
*see how awesome i am :P
*i specifically asked you out
*on wang zis bday
*:P


HE'S A LOSER. AHHAHAHAS he didn't even know it was his bday :P

Ngaww anyways, so far today, its good :) I was happy to see him at the door of my tutor. :) I was sooo happy to have received HIS MONKEY :) Anyways LOVE YOU :)

Am i taking it too seriously? It's not like he is. I don't know if I should take it seriously now. Its only been a few days and I've been having lots of mood swings. I don't think its right. I don't think i should. I don't think it will last forever.

I just take things serious. I always compare it with the old relationship when its only been a few days. I guess I feel like just giving up. I dont know. Is there a friend out there that can tell me what to do, or maybe change this mood swings i have?

Its because of these mood swings, these raging that the last relationship didnt work out. I don't know want it to happen again. I tell myself i shouldn't be doing it. But what's the use? I tell, but i don't follow. :(

Mission impossible??

I told one of my friend that I don't know if this HSC relationship thing would work out. I know he needs to study too but then again i miss him and that makes me so sad. I don't know if i can accomplish this "mission".

And i need this friend's support atm but hes not on. To be honest, i think this whole HSC relationship wouldnt work out too. Friend said it would work if i really liked this person. But then again, i want him to be my side all the time. I guess with the HSC in the way, i doubt it would go any far. :(

I miss him

This is a blog that Khiem is unaware of. I just hope he doesn't find it. It will feel weird if he finds about it as this blog would be dedicated about him :L

Well I feel lonely without him :(
*sigh
He's not on and seriously I miss him a lot. :(

When is he coming back?

14/4/10

My special day with Khiem :) S2